I started holding back tears while I was going to the bus stop and a girl asked me what was wrong and I said nothing. But you have to know just how meaningful you are to this world. I genuinely believe the only good thing about myself are my looks. Never let anyone or anything stop you from loving with all your heart. Don’t know why I went on a rant in a website’s comment section, but I feel better now. But why are we still feeling like self-care is selfish? I would like to read the book ‘The Self Under Seige’. The moment you realize that any judgment you’ve made about yourself belongs to an experience that then became permanent in your mind (through memory) everything changes. Its only a matter of time before we become more effective in the cures. Just trying being trans and see how it goes…u all have no idea what pain is. He’s hit me with objects( including a weed whacker). I just feel like not doing anything while other times I’m so deeply depressed I feel like dying. Maybe they’re a mix of all your favorite superheroes from childhood or a best friend. Google ‘divine truth’ as taught by AJ Miller. I just can’t understand what my husband sees in me. I hate myself because I am who I am and I so badly wish I could leave this body for a new one, a new brain, a new personality. I often wish I could end it. I have so much pride I don’t want to say or admit anything, but now I begin apologizing to people before I even talk because I know I’m such a pitiful excuse for a human being. He Billie me every day calling me ugly and telling me how stupid I am. But thats ok. It’s like I’m stuck on repeat in a never ending nightmare. You’re not stupid! I don’t hate myself. Thats when my parents started to fight. Ig just hurts. I’ve no friends. Was with him nearly 3 years. And how can we push past them to live a life free of the harsh attitudes of our inner critic? My mind was blank when my mom asked me if I canceled the class yet and so I answered yes when I needed her signature. and my father slapped me so hard in front of the teacher, The situation of that summer went worst and i totally broken thinking that i made my parents disappointed and this incident scarred me for half of my life. I have been alone for 99% of my life. Hey Anuhea ♥ I know you posted this a long time ago, but just wanted to say that I hope you’re doing well. I feel content with alcohol and I can have a laugh and connect with people – no problems. When I was in fifth grade, because of this, (yes this has been going on since the 5th grade and I’m 21 now,) a boy said he liked me. it may take you longer to think something through, but you are THINKING! Thats how I know she doesnt care about me. That must be soul-crushing. I still, to this day suffer with social anxiety and what people think of me and how they perceive me etc. Instead of recognizing this voice as the destructive enemy that it is, we mistake it for our real point of view, and we believe what it tells us about ourselves. This feeling about ourselves is common because every person is divided. WHO DOES THAT??? Now 3 years college i still have that fear that my old school mates & my college mates think i am a looser. They had been doing what they were supposed to the entire time and I was so backwards and selfish I took it and turned it into my own delusions and pschycosis. I often wish myself away from family home, and back at my desk in work because it is one of the only places I feel accepted, and even there I am constantly on edge. Im done with filling my head with negative thoughts, im done thinking im not good enough for anything. You all were all brave enough to share your stories and will now be helping many people because you chose to speak up about having low self esteem. ? All of her bfs didnt care about me or my brother. We may both be “gifted,” but I have Asperger’s and I’m manipulative and I never get my work done. I was also made fun of by a few people. I won’t go into detail but suffice to say I was made to feel not only unwanted but also that my very existence as a teenage girl at home was injurious to the wellbeing of my family, and at school I was told outright, repeatedly, that I would never be liked, by anyone. Seemed we all needed a home. If you feel that life is not worth living, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255). It’s helped me understand that it is not just me and it can happen to anyone. She actually has friends that invite her to places. … and my mother constantly verbally abused me calling me all sorts of horrid names. She works hard, she deserves those good grades and good friends and boyfriend. I was outcast and unloved. Believe in yourself. Social interaction can help you feel recharged and valued. I on d other hand m n introvert n very emotional. One day, I’ll come to realize I was only trapped underneath the covers of a tear-stained bed. It’s not a sense of unworthiness, but real hate. After the first day of tryouts i went home and cried because i hated it but i also wanted to do it just for the fact that my friends would see me as ‘cool’. My children are starting to act like everyone else and don’t have anyone else to watch them my children are going to be terrible people. It’s their voice. Then, 2 weeks ago, that was Sept. 19, 2016. I am a good student and I study everyday, but lately my focus has decreased. good luck . Mostly because of these: he judge me with my past I don’t know how to put a shirt and skirt together, I don’t know the basics of what everyone else is doing on a daily basis. I had many friends and never felt that I am weaker than them. I don’t want to talk to my girlfriend, or parents, or anyone close about this, because I don’t want them to worry about me. It gives me peace to know that there is hope for someone as broken as me. There are many events in my life that I cannot explain why they happened. i cant do it I know it’s been a while since you posted this but I just came across this and had to respond. Wishing you happy holidays and a happy birthday! It’s really stress me out. I am the oldest sibling and have always tried my hardest to be kind and caring, to be a great brother and son, but no matter what I did, I let my family down. -_- that has happened to me befor:( its sad being in that predicament.it scars you for your whole life. Today I had a math test, I gave my paper and then waited for everyone else to get out of class. despite having a good job (doctor) and decent people around me, i hate myself. Just yesterday they all picked on her, calling her ugly, fat, stupid, tramp, all the names I used to be called. Yet I still call myself fat. Now is the time to make a difference for others! I just don’t know how to do it. Ive been having these questions lately when I cant do something like, why am I even bothering? So really THANK YOU!!!! Hi im only young but i somehow don’t find any of these helpful to me, i don’t know what triggered my deep depression but i need a lot of help, i already see a psychiatrist in my home town but they don’t know how bad it feels to hate yourself everyday of your life. It’s almost like you want to be hurt, but yoy clearly don’t. I would bet any amount of money you are smarter than you think you are. I do study but can never compleate my paper. He took his kids and left. And she wasnt off with dates. What now? I am trying to avoid my own self critic, and therefore tend to choose to opt out of social events. I randomly came across this page somehow think I’ll check it out more . What a joke.. Idk.. No matter how much I achieve its not enough to feel lovable. She was… ok. She screamed at me a lot. I went to the cardiologist complaining a persistent chest pain, difficulty of breathing and lightheaded. I didn’t see him for a while and we happened to go to an event at the same time, all the schools in the area were getting pupils to go. This is not a story about following your dreams and having unwavering self belief, this is a story about how devoting much energy to your thoughts can rob you of your creativity/critical thinking and lead you into a spiral of self destruction. You are AMAZING!! Go for a coffee, see a movie together, or simply visit while taking a walk together. Just as our parent’s positive attitudes toward us may lead us to develop self-esteem and confidence, their more critical attitudes can promote just the opposite. I wish the ones inflicting wouldn’t be hurt again so I can speak up and seak help. I just… Im ok. I am the one who is judging and critizing myself when I am out with friends or social settings. I’ve read the rest of the comments, but this one is almost exactly on point for me, hi inner voice twin! I don’t hate you for not loving me anymore, but i hate myself for still loving you. I struggle to even have intimate relations with my husband because I don’t feel like I’m good enough. And he doesn’t care his children, us .That makes me want care from other people. I fell in love with one of my neighbors. We have all been through crap in our lives, and that’s okay, the trick is to learn how to be strong within, and eventually the rest will follow, no matter your shape, size, race, etc. You can talk about them and maybe act together to help each other instead of trying to fight each other or be unhappy. Am not looking for sympathy etc just a way to become normal because to be honest I dont enjoy anything anymore n I know its not fair on my family as they deserve better than me. My Mother has negative tendencies and I don’t think she realises it. (I believe recruit retired football coaches without a trace of empathy, but that’s just my hypothesis.). though i try my best to improve myself Iam great in business and I’m assertive when need be, I have a great professional life. The past is gone. But last night my Aunt texted me a picture of a girl who supposedly ‘could e my twin.’ Nobody is ‘ugly’ but it really bothered me. I recently found the cause of many of these issues was because of polycystic ovary syndrome. I needed to get this all off my chest, because in two days time it’s Christmas, and my 21st birthday and yet I have never felt so unhappy and alone. My parents were and remain very supportive and have never been critical. I face problems today in social and romantic contexts, because I still question myself and my own worthiness, feeling that I don’t deserve the inclusion and love of others. My brother was only 8 or 7. At school I was being bullied for a lot of things like the way I looked and a bunch of other hateful things…. But this constant feeling of never being good enough, I wish it would dissappear. I just needed a vent. Which is in everyone’s line, in here. Like you I am also pretty anti-social, in fact going by your description I am possibly most likely even more so. Your post made me feel better though because you remind me of someone important to me. I am trying to start my own business, but it is a battle, just like keeping my weight down. I quit a 13500 dollar a month job because of sudden anger, ego. I hope you believe it.” It caught me by surprise and I began to sob and replied, “I want to so badly!” And it’s true, I DO want to know what it feels like to know that I’m deeply loved as a person and have that as a experience in my life. It’s not for lack of trying though. It was a real pleasure to read, and even everyone else’s comments. When everyone but mom dad and i where asleep (they thought i was but i have insomnia) i heard them fighting and went to look. I am in my 50’s and have never had a girlfriend. but only that i dont think i could be as cute as anime character O.O I have to realize that I can not change over night and I have a the capability to change. I am with you there my friend. I have started feeling what if i go to another company (Right now i am happily working in a company where everyone acknowledges me) where whatever had happened to me in the past happens again. There are a lot of people speaking about this, like Marianne Williamson, like Deepak Chopra, Anita Moorjani and etc. Push yourself harder and try taking up other hobbies while you haven’t met your goal as in painting walls, being good at doing your own manicure hahaha or watching tons of Indian and Spanish thriller crimes (what a mix!). I Hate Myself (The Dead Milkmen) Performed By Dead Milkmen Smokin' Banana Peels I hate myself - hate myself And you - I hate you I hate myself - hate myself And you - I hate you Roses are red and Violets are blue I hate me and I hate you I hate my life and I hate yours I hate my life and I hate yours Let's get together and make a pact What is wrong, and is something wrong, is there anything i have to do? Someone else beat us up to that. I hope today is better for you? The next time you feel like saying, “I hate myself,” try to think of a small way you can reframe that statement to be more manageable and specific. Mental health has killed my friends. Love people, your parents, everyone you walk past. I just needed to get all of it off of my chest. I know you have so, so, soooooo much to give. There are people and organizations who can help you face down your feelings. They are very self sabotaging thoughts. On the other hand, I don’t expect people to be perfect. It’s just hard to believe that anything good is ever meant to happen. I like to dance and tell jokes. Don’t give up. We had finally found a place to call our own. I have a bf now, and yes we get into some arguments, and then I end up hurting him with words (I never hit people). I desperately desire to share compassion and love on the world because God knows it’s depressing enough here, but I just can’t seem to love who I am. I say this because for a long while I had goal, it was personal it was ambitious , it is everything that many if not all bright students aspire to be but few make it all the way. this made me hate myself even more because none of this worked. Properly learning that it is NOT a realistic voice will probably take a lot of time and effort, but this article sparks a hope in me that it can be done. I felt that I really needed to reply you,You posted it on my birthday lol (btw, almost none of my friends texted me or anything like it, but I did when was their birthday. When I get a new accessory, my other friend will go out and buy something 10x better and then say she’s poor. But our friendship hasn’t been the same. My father suffered(suffers) from an addiction to alcohol and medication, and, by some sort of divine comedy I acquired Hep C during a surgery when I was 9 and therefore as a 23 year old adult I can’t just take the easy road out and hide behind drugs, I would be killing myself. Sooner or later you’re going to mess up.” It’s there to sabotage our relationships: “She doesn’t really love you. cus they arent me. Others i hate. I personally struggle with insecurities about my worth, simply because of who I am. I will try to live a peaceful life. he is my best friend. On both of these quizes, I got a result that I am indeed a loser. When people would normally try to make you laugh or smile, try to make yourself laugh or smile, and when you do that, try to feel the emotions you would normally feel. I only have a mother but I feel like she doesn’t love me at all and probably never will because I was just a mistake, an accident, she never really wanted me. I have had strong feelings of self doubt from a very young age. At this point i time i had 2 of my little sisters Sophidia Grace and Andre Renée. That doesn’t mean you have to take the abuse though. Take all the things you wish someone would do for you and do them for others. I have this deep rooted fear of other people hating me and this has strangely been true in all past relationships. Have you tried talking to them about it? I know that their are people out there that go through bullshit everyday and have had a horrible life and I’m here complaining that I’m sad.. it just makes me feel even more shit about myself. It took me a long time to trust my husband not to make the same mistakes my father did, but even now I don’t believe he thinks I’m beautiful but I can’t pinpoint why being beautiful in his eyes weighs so heavily on me. I am but. Please read my story. I was obsessed with the fact that he was bending over backwards to do something nice for me. We internalised their voices, their view on us. I just took the MCAT for the 5th time, and I still didn’t score high enough. I would blurt out anything with no filter. It was just in the shadows and under the veil of misunderstanding. If you’re battling a severe bout of self-hatred, it can be helpful to sit with that feeling and try to identify where it came from. My mom was paranoid and overbearing my whole life, but when I grew up she became my best friend…all that stuff doesn’t even matter anymore. Because i felt pleasure. Thank you so much for your post. I am 31 years old, have a job, an apartment and a wonderful fiance. The next week we where moving. harsh words. Suprize suprize it didn’t last. That its ok to be mean or rude to me. Bulls***. I hate me what’s wrong with me? Dad, mil and boss are all very demanding and just feel trapped and out of ideas to make life better. Specially one girl who was a bitch. 1 talking about this. n my dreams it will alz b dream That never happened, but I think it led to a feeling of shame that I never quite let go off. If you want to change your life , Start today, tomorrow is not a day of the week. Right now my school guidance counselor is actually setting up meetings for me to see the clinical counselor to get help. I’m back on track tonight, I will continue to challenge the critical voice in my head. I wish I had the strenght back then to reach out and elevate myself from that low standard, since I’ve always had all the means I wanted to do so, being backed by my parents. Then I cried. I say to myself that bad things happen because I deserve them. He got the BFF’s number and they talk EVERY night. It’s a difficult situation for me. my teachers always criticized me for being so but no one did much to help me. This lack of self-confidence is really eating away into how I present myself and my thoughts.. whenever I meet my professor to discuss projects, I hear myself stammering away and even if I give feedback which my professor likes, I find it difficult to even accept praise or acknowledge what I did to be good.. problem is, I want to be noticed, but I’ve become a quiet person who doesn’t want a ton of attention. When I lived on my own I dealt with sever depression for many years I finished college and had 2 children as someone who succeeded in things she never thought she would I still hate myself so much. Ha ha. i dont want to c them getting worried for me I know what you mean. I thought I loved him… but I didnt. As we pursue this goal of becoming our true selves, we may experience an increase in anxiety or an influx of critical inner voices. In case you dont believe the figure above i am an electrical engineer with 35 plus years of experience and was working in oil and gas in the middle east. I’m always the one who ends up alone. m just 16 bt m feeling m getting old I know I’m over reacting but I can’t help it. Because she’s not kind and considerate to me. Every night I would feel moody and cry myself to sleep because I feel like I want to die. I was the most hurt. My heart has been super glued and duct taped and shattered over and over- but i am going to put it back to gether a keep on doing.. All you beautiful people are awsome and I love you all the same. Mom was crying and he was getting mad. My bf doesnt want to see me hurt, so Im scared to talk to him about it. Doesn’t mean it has to be a vicious cycle. I am lost So my friends also think that I am a poor student who does not study and therefore I am ignored. I thought dating her my dad would stop calling me gay but it only got worst. I can’t ever shut my damn mouth and I hate myself because I can’t just be a quiet and nice person. And no mater how much u weigh know that u are beautiful and u shouldn’t feel sorry for ur self Just like the article said, we each have two sides, fighting for control over out body. If you had a bossy or demanding father, for example, you should try to challenge ways that you yourself are controlling in your life. Mom says I don’t have them and that I’m just filling my head with junk, but I think that might provide an explanation for lots of things. So i ended up pushing him away. It is so cool to know this feelings are not because I’m rubbish. I’m really good at masking my feelings and I don’t have anybody that I trust to pour out my feelings to. The only thing that I did right was not having children. Each day take steps to do the things that make you happy. Self hate also seems normal. It’s good to talk, but you also need to act. She’s THAT much focused on me. You only really need one or two people as friends that you can be yourself, be comfortable around. Finally, thanks for reading this rambling thoughts of mine. It’s so refreshing to read something like this that I can really relate too. There is also not much I can change. Aloha im anuhea and i am such a confused person. To be honest, I despise him. Hey. day after day its like being suffocated by the fact that no one around you wants to notice you, and even you want to shun yourself and pick yourself last. I have spent most of my adult life in the gym trying to overcome and compensate for my feelings of inferiority as a man because I sucked at sports. Nebbishy filmmaker Joanna Arnow documents her yearlong relationship with a racially charged poet provocateur. what shal i do,,how to let go of my dreams and live happily,,please helpf, Your bf is in fact horrible. I say things I don’t mean and I hate that I say them and then I hate myself even more. They are not judging me the way I think they do. I can see that when you wrote your comment here that things weren’t going too well, or at least you were feeling a lot of negativity. and i never credit my self. Or someone who has nighttime sessions. Not even the people closest to me, or my family. Simply challenging these negative thoughts helps to reinforce the idea that self-hatred isn’t a fact or undeniable truth — it’s an emotion. He always ask for things and I feel like he is so selfish and doesn’t consider me, including my work schedule, taking care of the kids and the house. I tell him all the time that he’s lucky I even gave him a chance. I am 54 years old and still feel a deep well of unrequited love. my father looked like he is exhausted all the time, of course because of mom. bt actually m not I have nothing. It seems so impossible for me to stop smoking more than few days, to exercise, to not to drink, to burn bridges with the bad influencers and so on. I mean, my older sister actually acts responsibly and gets her homework done, so I get why they yell at her less. I was bullied all through school told i was worthless, ugly, scary, weird, smelly, you name it i was called it. fearing they will laugh at me or just make me “small” again. I am so worried and was again, carried away. Sometimes I admit I was actually hoping I would be able to become my old self but it seemed death was my only resolve. my mother treats me like a dog and calls me stupid and says lots of disrespectful things to me and every my grandmother would treat me the same way but pressure me on my weight and say “Run up and down the stair 20 times a day, you’ll loose weight faster!” Which hurts very much and I have been told this by her every time I decide to go spend a weekend with her! Almost a week ago i rejected a guy and partly it was because i was comparing my self to his ex’s and they are so pretty and i thought people will make fun of me and call me ugly if i were to date him because he has a lot of friends and is very popular in school (I also don’t like being the center of attention). I would go to bed happy and relaxed. It’s not my fault she was dumb, blind and naive and married into a horrible family. I am a 20 year old male with no friends or social life. The 24/7 hotline will connect you with mental health resources in your area. And i am being the same as her. “I have nothing to offer a woman.” I have no money, I have an uninteresting personality, I’m not good at anything I try to do and as I said before I’m not good looking. I usually get up at 6AM and go to sleep at 10:30 PM, but I’ve been feeling drained whenever I get home. Do not look to others to build you up. The voice therapy was really useful. And you are. And No problemo for da faves~!!! In this case, I’ve had family issues, but the biggest impact is from 4th grade an every school year to follow after that. It’s a bit like experimenting for cooking something new. I hate all the mistakes I’ve made, all the times I’ve been an idiot and made the wrong choice! And all I do for others is make there life worse. I would just like to add that all of you possess a commendable quality!! I feel that I’m not worthy to be inside Thai works. This helps the negativity not feel so overwhelming or permanent. Love is a strong emotion that’s hard to feel toward yourself in a low point. And I think that no creature deserves to be. But I don’t what happened, but I guess it was because I was stuck in the moment and I chose a different path. At Christmas that year he left. im not going to apoligize for everything anymore. I am 28 years old, and I want to have children so bad. Then I started liking this one guy…. He acts like he’s my dad and he freaks me out. Where will therapy fit into your schedule? I have never written this out cohesively before. I have always been kind and caring, people loved me all my yet short life, WHY WHY DO I HATE EVERYBODY. Ill just keep on thinking positive as well as challenging my inner critic! Why do i bother myself hating others. I know who I do and DO NOT look like. Not picked last, but instead not picked at all? At times I even would catch myself telling blatent lies for no other reason I can accept other than wanting to make people hate me. . It’s not so much feeling bad about who I am, but experiencing that I am outside of things. He had gotten better at refusing to drink until we moved in with him. You sound like a lovely young woman. I open up to my best friends(thankfully I have made three) even if I still have difficulties with my parents. Specifically, I have a vagina. i ve no hope All the pressure in looks alone. I have suffered my entire life from a father that never noticed the good and only focused on the bad in my life- sometimes even inventing negative things just to bring me down. My neighbors were nice and the school was so much better. but i want put my all into trying either. I saw them as something to make my family happy and not me. Everything he says feels like lies, though I know he’s sincere, and I feel wretched all the time but fight like hell to hide it so it doesn’t destroy the few relationships I have left. I’m being transfered at work since I don’t fit in (because I work hard, and people are throwing me under the bus) I worked really hard for 5 years to get out of this mind frame to be there again. Now I am on the road to something great (so I think…) – I now vape cannabis occasionally and have psychedelic mushrooms from time to time; if no one knows about these, they have helped me realise a lot of things about myself and they actually stopped me from getting blackout drunk every weekend since the age of 18. Clearly, some people are single because they choose to be. Don’t give up just yet,you may think that the world is cruel to you,but there are also good things that is in this world ,so find your hope,that could heal your wounds.It could be anything ..because everybody has their problems that might be even worse than what you are experiencing right now.I think i’m talking like i don’t hate myself right now,but reading all those comments.. i’m currently shocked that there are so many people hate themselves .Well,i suppose searching for hope is not that easy ,or probably useless..